I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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