i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
