At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
