O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
