He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize
