So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
