you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
