I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
