Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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