this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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