I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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