So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize