i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
