i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
