ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
