Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Do vagina's smell?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
