you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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