Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
