Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
