I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
