Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
