whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
