he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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