College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
