I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i dont even know how to be here
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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