East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
