my room smells like sperm. sweet.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
