He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
