So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
