nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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