what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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