Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she told me i tasted like america
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
