Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
