what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
