I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
