she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize