Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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