I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
