but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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