My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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