I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
