I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
