..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
