I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
