i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
