dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
