What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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