hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
