bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
