her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
