Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
