whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Vodka?
Forever.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
