tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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