Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
