It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
