I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
